This and That

We did the ER thang this week with my Dad. He experienced weakness and shortness of breath, and his assisted living staff felt he needed to be checked. We spent from 9:00 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. in the Emergency Room having tests run. He has early Congestive Heart Failure, which really isn't anything new. He's agreed to use a walker to insure stability when he's getting around, and this is a good thing. By the time I got him settled back in his apartment, drove back home, and typed and faxed my report to his primary physician, it was 3:30 a.m. I've been playing catch-up all week.

I was pleased with the care he got in the ER, despite the length of time we spent there. I still wonder, though, what happens to elderly patients who don't have anyone like me along with them to keep track of tests performed and test results and instructions and communications with other physicians. It can be mind boggling enough for someone who isn't sick!

I heard a great success story from one of the nurses I met. She's 51, divorced, most attactive, and has a great personality. As we chatted, I asked how she wound up in this particular town with only herself and her dog. She said, "His name is Dennis," and went on to explain how she and this fella met through an Internet matching service, and it was love at first email! In spite of her friends' admonitions and caution, she met him face to face after 3 months of emailing and discovered her "soul mate." She packed her bags, and here she is - and couldn't be happier! I told her she'd made my day. What a great Valentine tale!

We had two more doctors' appointments after the ER visit. We have two more next week. At least my dad's spirits are good, and he really doesn't feel bad. At 81, I reckon this is a blessing!

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I've been perusing other Blogs, and I've come to realize that I don't know nearly as much as I thought I did. Compared to these others, my graphics, etc. are really boring. So I'm going out today to buy HTML for Dummies or something similar to teach myself how to design these things. Or at least figure out how to convert a graphic to HTML so I can paste it into my template. I have no idea what some of the seemingly "everybody knows this" terminology means! A new project. My Blog may look weird at times until I master some basics, so bear with me.

Where do all these people learn this stuff? Some of the blogs are written by young moms with loads of young kids, and their pages are so cute! Am I the only blogger who hasn't studied computer science in college? The more I read, the more I realize that Blogging is big business! People are pouring out their souls on the Internet - for all the world to read! and they're getting comments from strangers from everhwhere! Advertisers pay you to use their ads on your blog; there are services ready to design your blog for you; bloggers aim for high listings in the big Search Engines; people rate your blog for content, design, technical errors, and more. Blogging is another dimension out there of which I'm only on the fringe. and who knew?

Investors would do well to buy some stock in this stuff - it's going to explode.

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I have some more bird photos to upload for you. Robins, blue jays, chickadees, titmice, and woodpeckers. I received some nice responses to the previous ones. My yard is indeed a mecca for ornithologists!

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I'm chewing on a few ideas for future posts that will hopefully come to fruition next week in between my Dad's appointments. My husband and I will be making a trip to San Diego this month to go whale watching and to the zoo, so I hope I'll have a few good pictures of a whale tail or koala or something interesting to post.

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Thanks to all of you who are indulging my latent desire to write. I really appreciate that you're plodding through all these ramblings.

The Importance of Compassion

I started to name this post, "Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself."

I just read an article in the March/April 2005 issue of AARP The Magazine. (Yeah, I AM that old). The article is titled "Compassion's Fruit" and is written by Karen Armstrong, a former nun turned religious scholar and the author of The Sprial Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness (Alfred A. Knopf, 2004) and Buddha (Penguin, 2001). It nails a truth in which I believe and wish more egotists around the world would practice. I tried to find a link for you, but www.aarpmagazine.org doesn't offer an online printing of this article. Keep checking the link - maybe they will in the future.

Meanwhile, I'll try to paraphrase without losing Ms. Armstrong's eloquence.

She begins by referencing Carl Jung's notion that instead of teaching people to live together in peace, all too often religious leaders concentrate on "marginal issues" such as evolution, women and gay priests or rabbis, or contraception, which tend to "draw attention to the differences between 'us' and 'them.'" Focusing on these divisions gives rise to religious fundamentalism, which often leads to religious hatred. Yet all faiths have, at their core, an agreement on the "supreme importance of compassion," i.e.: the Golden Rule.

There are references to the teachings of compassion by Confucius, Buddha, Jesus, according to the Torah, and the Koran. She points out that early prophets realized that when people put aside greed and selfishness, they were happier. Spiritual enlightenment couldn't be achieved when our egos stood in the way. By preaching the importance of putting ourselves in the shoes of others, and by truly leaving our 'selves' behind, we would find an "experience of ecstasy that is deeper and more permanent" than the temporary thrills we seek through other venues (e.g.: art, music, sex, drugs, sports).

Compassion, however, may not be selective. It must be extended to everyone, even our enemies. Compassion has nothing to do with feelings. It has everything to do with realizing that others have the same fears and sorrows as we do; that others feel just as we feel, regardless of our differing opinions or beliefs. This does not mean we can't feel anger or rage. But if we allow these feelings to grow, or if we act on these feelings, we only hurt ourselves - it will no doubt delight our enemies that they were the cause of it. Giving in to our feelings of rage stems from an overinflated sense of self-importance.

I really like this quote:
"There are some people, I suspect, who would feel obscurely cheated if, when they finally arrived in heaven, they found everybody else there as well. Heaven would not be heaven unless those who reached it could peer over the celestial parapets and watch other unfortunates roasting below."

and this one:
"Auschwitz, the Gulag, and the regime of Saddam Hussein show the fearful cruelty to which humanity is prone when all sense of the sacred has been lost. . . But none of these atrocities could have taken place if people were properly educated in the golden rule. We all live in one world, and we have to learn to reach out in sympathy to people who have different opinions, at home and abroad. We need the compassionate ethic more desperately than ever before."

I haven't done the article justice, I'm afraid.

But I might add: Compassion comforts us as well as others. Through it, we can find an inner peace and hold the world at bay. So what if a co-worker talks behind our back? harboring anger only give us the headache. Understand that the co-worker may be feeling the same kind of jealousy, envy, insecurity that you would feel if you allowed yourself to be affected. Others can only hurt you if you let them. By turning the other cheek, you are rising above the situation, and you will feel the peace and comfort.

And others are watching you. Every day, someone is noticing how you handle situations and what you say and do. Would you not rather project an image of serenity and compassion? Wouldn't you rather be the level headed one? The class act?

I suspect that more people in this world DO practice compassion than the media would have us think. It is the extremists who ignite the fires and create the noise, fueling their own egos and need for attention, . It is generally the quiet multitude who go about their daily lives, helping those in need, trying to do what is right by their own religious creed, and practicing compassion in hundreds of different languages but in one universal definition.

And that's how I see it.

Backyard Birding

Thought you might enjoy some of the birds we're seeing these days. With 6 seed feeders, 2 suet feeders, and 4 birdbaths, our yard is well known among our feathered friends (and squirrels) as "Restaurant Row."



One of a colony of cardinals sharing our yard. Jan. 2005


Sparrows love to splash and bathe! Jan 2005


A bluebird conference at the watering hole. Jan 2005 


Bluebirds scouting for a nice neighborhood. Jan 2005


Goldfinches enjoy the peanut nuggets. 


Another redbird. Jan 2005 


This big guy was surveying the scene for some of our grain fed squirrels. Jan. 2005

Favorite Places

Okay. I've had a request for more favorite web sites, so I've listed and linked a few for your browsing pleasure.

Charity USA -You should bookmark this site and click on each button every day to: help fund free mammograms, fund food for the hungry, provide food for animals in shelters, fund the preservation of rainforests, generate books for children who otherwise would have no access to them, and help fund vital health services for children. A good way to do something good without having to get out of your chair.

Ancestry.com -a free site that lets you search the database for your ancestors and links you to others who have done similar research. This is the one that got me started on the genealogy I've done for our families. The more you get into it, the more hooked you become.

copykat.com - get the recipes for the dishes you enjoy at your favorite restaurants. It even has Cracker Barrel favorites!

Treasury.gov - find out what those your old savings bonds are worth with the savings bonds calculator on this site.

howtocleananything.com -self explanatory. Good tips on how to get out stubborn stains, too.

eyewitnesstohistory.com -history through the eyes of those who lived it. A collection of memoires, letters, diaries, journals, and other documents that describe historical events. For example, there is an excerpt from John Smith's writings about his rescue by Pocohantas in 1608. There is a letter written by a lady of Louis XIV's court in 1671 that gives insight into life there. This is really interesting.

wordiq.com -search for words by definition or by the word itself. This is a handy thing to bookmark and use when you're writing (or reading) something and don't have a dictionary or thesaurus handy.

babelfish.altavista.com -a site that translates text from one language to another and back again. Pretty cool, although my son tried it in a Spanish class and said it wasn't entirely accurate.

soyouwanna.com - "life, explained" This site "teaches you how to do all the things noboby taught you in school." You can find out how to buy champagne and taste good wine; you can learn how to give a good baby shower; you can learn how to join the Peace Corps, how to play poker, or decorate an apartment. An interesting site.

geoimages.berkeley.edu -panoramas taken by photographers around the world. Check out the world's tallest building in Taipei, Taiwan. My husband saw that. It even has panoramas from around the US that some of you might recognize. Now THIS is a fun site to peruse! There are some awesome interactive photographs. Use your mouse to move the scene up, down, left, or right, or even zoom in and out. Check it out.

Enjoy!

Forget the Dishes

We have a friend who has a second home in the mountains. He says that the moment he crests the hill as he nears the house, he finds his "zone." All is right with the world; his troubles melt away, and he can finally relax.

I can identify with that. I find my "zone" when I'm watching the birds in my backyard. I'll sit at the kitchen table, my feet propped up, my coffee in hand, perhaps with a cat in my lap and a dog or two under my chair, and I'll watch the birds dine from the 5 feeding stations in my yard. No worries. Just peace, quiet, and the beautiful birds. The serenity is broken only when my border collie sees an intruding squirrel that she MUST deal with.

I haven't always been able to do this. Perhaps it's age and the wisdom that I like to think comes with it. As we get closer to the twilight of our own mortality, or as we see our parents begin to reach the end of theirs, perhaps we are able to appreciate the small things that surround us; things that we have taken for granted in the past. Like mountains. or birds. Life is just too short to be stressed out about things.

Some things we simply cannot change. There are those for whom this is a tough concept to accept, and they beat themselves up trying foresee and control consequences that are absolutely not in their chain of command. Such a waste of time and energy.

Still others believe their lives must be perfectly ordered and follow a prescribed path in order to be successful. Their houses must be beautifully decorated and clean at all times. Their children must be well-behaved and at the top of their class. Their hair must be coiffed; their nails must be manicured. Any obstacle sends them into a tailspin. Then, after ensuring all this perfection, they're too tired to enjoy the 'Utopia" they've tried so hard to create, or else it falls woefully short of their unrealistic expectations, and they're disappointed.

You know what? If you don't like my nails, or if my house is too dirty for you, or my children get on your nerves, then go visit someone else. You must not be coming to see me anyway.

Sadly, the economy of today and the uncertainty of jobs too often dictates that we must devote our lives to our work. Folks arrive at their desks at dawn, and don't leave until well after dusk. They bring the work home with them, and probably dream about it at night. Is it any wonder that we burn out so quickly? Maybe the Taiwanese have at least part of the solution: after lunch, they put their heads on their desks and take a power nap. (My husband noticed this during his recent business trip to the island.) At a certain hour, soothing "wake up" music is pumped in over the PA system, and everyone goes back to work, refreshed. Not a bad idea.

I believe it just isn't worth it to get so worked up about small things. So what if the dishes don't get cleaned up after supper? Think they're going anywhere? Wouldn't you rather spend some time hearing about your spouse's day or reading to your children? So what if the beds don't get made every morning? You're just going to mess them up again 12-15 hours later anyway. So what if the Christmas cards aren't mailed before Christmas? The P.O. still delivers on December 29; better yet - send Valentine cards!

Maybe we need to realize who's REALLY in charge and stop trying to call all the shots.

We only get one life. We need to visit our 'zone' every day. It is up to us to notice everything around us and appreciate the little things. We owe it to ourselves to prioritize what's really important and make the most of every moment we're given. I can assure you, we won't be judged by how clean our house was or how much money we made when we get to those Pearly Gates!

My sister-in-law forwarded this to me. I think it's great:

Stress Management. Think about it, and it makes a lot of sense. Stress Management.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
• Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
• Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
• Never buy a car you can't push.
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
• Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
• Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
• The second mouse gets the cheese.
• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. (too true!)
• We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.