Sometimes it takes a painful loss to serve as an important reminder to live life each day as if it's our last.
We attended a funeral this past weekend. There were tears of relief for the end of her suffering, tears of grief for the loss of one so loved, and tears of regret for things not said or not done while she was still alive. It is those tears of regret that will haunt us for the rest of our lives, and that could've been so avoided.
Bottom line: we are indeed a selfish lot.
We judge other people and deem them inferior because they are different than we are. We keep tallies of who gets what and who said something that we didn't like. We elect to discontinue a relationship because of misunderstandings.
These days families are spread out across the world. Yet we procrastinate keeping in touch because our own life is so busy. We get so wrapped up in what we do and what we want that we neglect the needs of others. We fool ourselves into believing that we have plenty of time to "do it later."
Then it's too late.
How often do we take our loved ones for granted? The very people we need the most are the same ones we treat the most off-handedly. Why? Because we know they'll love us unconditionally. They'll always be there. or so we think.
What makes it okay to snap at someone we love because we've had a bad day at work or because we didn't get enough sleep the night before? How often do we fail to remember things that are important to our spouses, parents, or children because we're so focused on what's important to ourselves? What makes us attentive to our acquaintances and colleagues yet oblivious to the needs of our family members? Why would we hurt someone we've vowed to "love, honor, and cherish for the rest of our lives?"
To take it a step further, why would we let anger fester and overtake our relationship with someone we love? We find fault; we nitpick; we judge; we demand; we withhold affection; we are inconsiderate; and for what? So that when they are gone, we can live with regret for the rest of our lives?
It is up to us to appreciate and cherish the people who make up our safety net every single day. We must tell them how much they mean to us, and then walk the talk. We must treat every day as if it were their or our last. Finding fault or being negative only causes regrets in the long run. Behaving with disrespect or dishonor will plant a cancer on our soul. Then, I say, we get what we deserve.
It takes so little effort to be kind. Often it is only habit that makes us selfish. Perhaps we just need to be more accepting and flexible. We definitely need to listen more and to pay more attention to what's going on around us.
We only have one life. One chance here on earth to get it right. One opportunity to learn from the many experiences we encounter. That includes the people we encounter as well. At any given moment, our sojourn here could come to an end. Why, then, do we fail to appreciate those whom we cherish while we have the chance?
Giving feels so much more rewarding than receiving.
I plan to do much better and hope to have no regrets.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
What I Saw at the Suck, Bang, & Blow Last Weekend
You can just stow away those dirty minds right now.
The Suck, Bang, and Blow is a motorcycle bar named for the operations of the motorcycle engine. That said, what I saw leads me to believe that some folks pack their dirty minds in their saddlebags, take them out, and parade them all over the place at certain Bike Week venues.
you can see it all at the Suck, Bang, & Blow
One of our friends got married on the SC coast last weekend, and the wedding coincided with the beginning of Bike Week in Myrtle Beach. How fortunate for my Harley riding better half! He and a friend trailered their bikes, hoping for 30 minutes of riding time. Ordinarily they wouldn't consider attending a motorcycle event, but hey, since they were already going to be there . . .
At the above mentioned SB&B, riders can actually ride their bikes through the middle of the bar - something I thought to be a novel thing to do. In a fleeting moment of lost sanity, I said I wanted to ride through the middle of a bar. Before I knew it, I was on the back of the Harley, heading to Murrell's Inlet and the Suck, Bang, and Blow. Our friend convinced his spouse to go, too, and the other wedding attendees followed in their car.
There were bikes everywhere. Vendors had tents set up all around the SB&B and across the street. They sold everything from helmets, tee shirts, motorcycle parts, and food to decals, sunglasses, and beer (lots of beer).
In jeans and sleeveless knit shirts, we were the best dressed folks there.
Hundreds of motorcycles buzzed and sputtered on every road around Myrtle Beach. Their riders were adorned in doo-rags, graying beards and ponytails, tattoos of varying styles, leather vests or chaps, sunglasses, and sunburns. Some guys were shirtless (all the better to show off those tattoos and pecs!) Some folks wore helmets; most did not.
We decided that some of the tattoos were temporary, and some of those beards were begun a few weeks ago in anticipation of this week. Most likely, many of those scruffy riders return home to regular 9-5 jobs where their co-workers are none the wiser as to how they spent their summer vacation.
But it's the women who lent a touch of trash to the whole atmosphere. Some were attired in shorts so short they had to cause a rash. Some wore leather vests with nothing underneath. Others wore bathing suit tops, thong underwear, and chaps, exposing it all to anyone behind. Worse was the fact that some of those exposed bodies had no business exposing anything! Victoria's Secrets models they were not! Some women even pulled up their shirts for money!
SB&B patrons
I guess I'm just too old to understand why on earth a woman (of any age) would choose to display her chest or her derriere to the public, especially in a place where testosterone levels were so high. Granted, at the beach inhibitions tend to be lower, and bathing suits are skimpier than ever, but still. This was trashy, and there was no ocean at the SB&B.
Aside from that, I witnessed my first burn out. This is when a rider pulls his bike up to a wall and gives it all it's got, spinning the rear wheel and generating clouds of rubber smoke. The bigger the clouds, the greater the crowd approval. When a tire actually blows, the crowd expresses its appreciation by throwing money at the driver!
At first, I thought this was ludacrous. Then I talked to the guy who had just blown out his tire as he counted out a handful of bills to the vendor selling tires across the street (how convenient). His was on its last threads anyway, so he'd made sure the vendor had a tire to fit his bike before he did the burn out. He wound up paying only $95 for a $195 tire. Not so stupid after all.
A burn out
All this, and I never got to ride through the middle of the Suck, Bang, and Blow. With so many people, the event staff had closed off the ride-through.
The following day, my better half rode further up the coast to the Harley dealership where there were at least 20,000 motorcycles, . He regretted that I hadn't gone there with him because it was opposite from what I saw at the SB&B. It wasn't trashy. That's good to know. My spouse isn't like that; he just enjoys puttering around on his bike with his old men friends. Harley riders get a bad name from displays like that at the SB&B.
But I'm glad for the experience. It was a weekend of contrasts. First a lovely wedding set among the Spanish-moss laden trees in front of a coastal marsh, graced by the calls of the marsh hen and cranes. Then ride on the back of a Harley Davidson to the ambience of the Suck, Bang, and Blow. Life is good.
The Suck, Bang, and Blow is a motorcycle bar named for the operations of the motorcycle engine. That said, what I saw leads me to believe that some folks pack their dirty minds in their saddlebags, take them out, and parade them all over the place at certain Bike Week venues.
you can see it all at the Suck, Bang, & Blow
One of our friends got married on the SC coast last weekend, and the wedding coincided with the beginning of Bike Week in Myrtle Beach. How fortunate for my Harley riding better half! He and a friend trailered their bikes, hoping for 30 minutes of riding time. Ordinarily they wouldn't consider attending a motorcycle event, but hey, since they were already going to be there . . .
At the above mentioned SB&B, riders can actually ride their bikes through the middle of the bar - something I thought to be a novel thing to do. In a fleeting moment of lost sanity, I said I wanted to ride through the middle of a bar. Before I knew it, I was on the back of the Harley, heading to Murrell's Inlet and the Suck, Bang, and Blow. Our friend convinced his spouse to go, too, and the other wedding attendees followed in their car.
There were bikes everywhere. Vendors had tents set up all around the SB&B and across the street. They sold everything from helmets, tee shirts, motorcycle parts, and food to decals, sunglasses, and beer (lots of beer).
In jeans and sleeveless knit shirts, we were the best dressed folks there.
Hundreds of motorcycles buzzed and sputtered on every road around Myrtle Beach. Their riders were adorned in doo-rags, graying beards and ponytails, tattoos of varying styles, leather vests or chaps, sunglasses, and sunburns. Some guys were shirtless (all the better to show off those tattoos and pecs!) Some folks wore helmets; most did not.
We decided that some of the tattoos were temporary, and some of those beards were begun a few weeks ago in anticipation of this week. Most likely, many of those scruffy riders return home to regular 9-5 jobs where their co-workers are none the wiser as to how they spent their summer vacation.
But it's the women who lent a touch of trash to the whole atmosphere. Some were attired in shorts so short they had to cause a rash. Some wore leather vests with nothing underneath. Others wore bathing suit tops, thong underwear, and chaps, exposing it all to anyone behind. Worse was the fact that some of those exposed bodies had no business exposing anything! Victoria's Secrets models they were not! Some women even pulled up their shirts for money!
SB&B patrons
I guess I'm just too old to understand why on earth a woman (of any age) would choose to display her chest or her derriere to the public, especially in a place where testosterone levels were so high. Granted, at the beach inhibitions tend to be lower, and bathing suits are skimpier than ever, but still. This was trashy, and there was no ocean at the SB&B.
Aside from that, I witnessed my first burn out. This is when a rider pulls his bike up to a wall and gives it all it's got, spinning the rear wheel and generating clouds of rubber smoke. The bigger the clouds, the greater the crowd approval. When a tire actually blows, the crowd expresses its appreciation by throwing money at the driver!
At first, I thought this was ludacrous. Then I talked to the guy who had just blown out his tire as he counted out a handful of bills to the vendor selling tires across the street (how convenient). His was on its last threads anyway, so he'd made sure the vendor had a tire to fit his bike before he did the burn out. He wound up paying only $95 for a $195 tire. Not so stupid after all.
A burn out
All this, and I never got to ride through the middle of the Suck, Bang, and Blow. With so many people, the event staff had closed off the ride-through.
The following day, my better half rode further up the coast to the Harley dealership where there were at least 20,000 motorcycles, . He regretted that I hadn't gone there with him because it was opposite from what I saw at the SB&B. It wasn't trashy. That's good to know. My spouse isn't like that; he just enjoys puttering around on his bike with his old men friends. Harley riders get a bad name from displays like that at the SB&B.
But I'm glad for the experience. It was a weekend of contrasts. First a lovely wedding set among the Spanish-moss laden trees in front of a coastal marsh, graced by the calls of the marsh hen and cranes. Then ride on the back of a Harley Davidson to the ambience of the Suck, Bang, and Blow. Life is good.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
What I Learned in Texas Last Weekend
I visited Texas last weekend for the first time. We went to Houston for a wedding and stayed with friends who live in a small town about an hour outside the city. True to Texas hospitality, they made sure we had a good taste of what Texas is really like.
Some things I learned:
Texas has lovebugs. I haven't seen lovebugs since we lived in Florida.
Unlike Southeast BBQ, which is primarily pork, Texas BBQ is made from beef brisket that is cooked all day long with a basting of beer and lemon juice. Umm Umm good!
High-rent neighborhoods build elegant 4000+ square foot homes on well-manicured postage stamp sized lots.
BUT folks generally don't have 14 acre spreads - they have 1400 acre spreads.
There are some nice looking cowboys in Texas.
Oil rigs come in two parts. First the drilling rig. Then the pumping rig which is the one that looks like a dinosaur head. (They refer to them as "grasshoppers").
In the 80's, there was a cap placed on the price charged for oil pumped from existing wells, but not so on newly drilled wells. Guess what happened? The oilmen capped the existing wells and drilled new ones! Well, DUH!
Rodeos are exciting!
Rodeo events involving horses are rich men's sport. Horses cost $3000+ and need transporting, training, and boarding.
Dogs that resemble border collies are trained to nip the heels of a horse to keep it trotting in a circle on a lead. This exercises the horse while awaiting a rodeo event.
Bronco riders begin as early as two years old, starting out by riding pigs.
There is a difference between a bull and a steer. The bull has all his reproductive parts; the steer does not. Bulls are bigger.
What makes a bull buck has a lot to do with the rope that is pulled very snugly around his reproductive parts. This tends to make them very mad. That plus the zap they're given by a little hand-held zapper.
a very mad bull.
Bull riding gives new meaning to the phrase "Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys."
Rodeo Clowns are often retired bull riders. They are very brave cowboys.
There are summer cowboy hats and winter cowboy hats. Any Texan worth his salt owns at least one of each.
If you want folks to get up and dance at a wedding reception in Texas, play "Cotton Eyed Joe."
They don't play Beach Music at Texas wedding receptions.
"Texas may be considered part of the South because of its location, but Texas is really just Texas."
Some things I learned:
Texas has lovebugs. I haven't seen lovebugs since we lived in Florida.
Unlike Southeast BBQ, which is primarily pork, Texas BBQ is made from beef brisket that is cooked all day long with a basting of beer and lemon juice. Umm Umm good!
High-rent neighborhoods build elegant 4000+ square foot homes on well-manicured postage stamp sized lots.
BUT folks generally don't have 14 acre spreads - they have 1400 acre spreads.
There are some nice looking cowboys in Texas.
Oil rigs come in two parts. First the drilling rig. Then the pumping rig which is the one that looks like a dinosaur head. (They refer to them as "grasshoppers").
In the 80's, there was a cap placed on the price charged for oil pumped from existing wells, but not so on newly drilled wells. Guess what happened? The oilmen capped the existing wells and drilled new ones! Well, DUH!
Rodeos are exciting!
Rodeo events involving horses are rich men's sport. Horses cost $3000+ and need transporting, training, and boarding.
Dogs that resemble border collies are trained to nip the heels of a horse to keep it trotting in a circle on a lead. This exercises the horse while awaiting a rodeo event.
Bronco riders begin as early as two years old, starting out by riding pigs.
There is a difference between a bull and a steer. The bull has all his reproductive parts; the steer does not. Bulls are bigger.
What makes a bull buck has a lot to do with the rope that is pulled very snugly around his reproductive parts. This tends to make them very mad. That plus the zap they're given by a little hand-held zapper.
a very mad bull.
Bull riding gives new meaning to the phrase "Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys."
Rodeo Clowns are often retired bull riders. They are very brave cowboys.
There are summer cowboy hats and winter cowboy hats. Any Texan worth his salt owns at least one of each.
If you want folks to get up and dance at a wedding reception in Texas, play "Cotton Eyed Joe."
They don't play Beach Music at Texas wedding receptions.
"Texas may be considered part of the South because of its location, but Texas is really just Texas."
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Bill Gates' Eleven Rules for HS Grads
My friend, Susan, sent me this. I think high school grads should be given an exam on it. It is so true.
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Idealism is good. Believing that you're owed something for nothing is not good. I'm afraid we're setting up people to really feel that way with all the loopholes in welfare and tax breaks for having more children than can already be afforded. I have a problem with people who expect to get a job because of their gender or race. What ever happened to the notion that the one who is best qualified gets the job? Why should we expect to be paid for having children? or for not having a job?
I also have a problem with criminals blaming their misdeeds on their poor upbringing. If they know it was poor, why didn't they make an effort to behave the opposite? It isn't the parents' fault. Placing the blame on someone or something other than the culprit is too acceptable these days. I say place the blame where it lays: on the one committing the crime. We are given choices. We need to take the consequences for the ones we choose.
Perhaps Mr. Gates' Eleven Rules should be inscribed on the backs of the high school diplomas this May!
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair . . get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping . . they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Idealism is good. Believing that you're owed something for nothing is not good. I'm afraid we're setting up people to really feel that way with all the loopholes in welfare and tax breaks for having more children than can already be afforded. I have a problem with people who expect to get a job because of their gender or race. What ever happened to the notion that the one who is best qualified gets the job? Why should we expect to be paid for having children? or for not having a job?
I also have a problem with criminals blaming their misdeeds on their poor upbringing. If they know it was poor, why didn't they make an effort to behave the opposite? It isn't the parents' fault. Placing the blame on someone or something other than the culprit is too acceptable these days. I say place the blame where it lays: on the one committing the crime. We are given choices. We need to take the consequences for the ones we choose.
Perhaps Mr. Gates' Eleven Rules should be inscribed on the backs of the high school diplomas this May!
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