What I Learned in Texas Last Weekend

I visited Texas last weekend for the first time. We went to Houston for a wedding and stayed with friends who live in a small town about an hour outside the city. True to Texas hospitality, they made sure we had a good taste of what Texas is really like.

Some things I learned:

Texas has lovebugs. I haven't seen lovebugs since we lived in Florida.

Unlike Southeast BBQ, which is primarily pork, Texas BBQ is made from beef brisket that is cooked all day long with a basting of beer and lemon juice. Umm Umm good!

High-rent neighborhoods build elegant 4000+ square foot homes on well-manicured postage stamp sized lots.

BUT folks generally don't have 14 acre spreads - they have 1400 acre spreads.

There are some nice looking cowboys in Texas.

Oil rigs come in two parts. First the drilling rig. Then the pumping rig which is the one that looks like a dinosaur head. (They refer to them as "grasshoppers").

In the 80's, there was a cap placed on the price charged for oil pumped from existing wells, but not so on newly drilled wells. Guess what happened? The oilmen capped the existing wells and drilled new ones! Well, DUH!

Rodeos are exciting!

Rodeo events involving horses are rich men's sport. Horses cost $3000+ and need transporting, training, and boarding.

Dogs that resemble border collies are trained to nip the heels of a horse to keep it trotting in a circle on a lead. This exercises the horse while awaiting a rodeo event.

Bronco riders begin as early as two years old, starting out by riding pigs.

There is a difference between a bull and a steer. The bull has all his reproductive parts; the steer does not. Bulls are bigger.

What makes a bull buck has a lot to do with the rope that is pulled very snugly around his reproductive parts. This tends to make them very mad. That plus the zap they're given by a little hand-held zapper.
a very mad bull. 

Bull riding gives new meaning to the phrase "Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys."

Rodeo Clowns are often retired bull riders. They are very brave cowboys.

There are summer cowboy hats and winter cowboy hats. Any Texan worth his salt owns at least one of each.

If you want folks to get up and dance at a wedding reception in Texas, play "Cotton Eyed Joe."

They don't play Beach Music at Texas wedding receptions.

"Texas may be considered part of the South because of its location, but Texas is really just Texas."