Sweet Potato Queens

I know now what I want to be when I grow up.

A Sweet Potato Queen.

If you haven't read Jill Connor Browne's books, you are missing something. I suggest you begin at the beginning with "The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love." This will pretty much explain why I feel I would make a right good Tammy. Subsequent books are titled: "God Save the Sweet Potato Queens," "The Sweet Potato Queens' Big A-- Cookbook and Financial Planner," "The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men," and the newest, "The Sweet Potato Queens Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide."

I have quite a few friends who would make good Tammys as well. But I think we'll be Trixies instead. Tammy is getting to be so overused.

Trixie Sue probably has the best Sweet Potato Queen attitude of us all. In fact she's the very one who got me started. She even talks like a Sweet Potato Queen, and Trixie Sue is quick on her feet. Let me tell you, she can spit out those one-liners faster than I can even think of a paragraph.

If you want someone who can tell a funny story with a straight face and have you holding your sides from laughing so hard, it would be Trixie Jo. Some people just have a knack for doing that, you know? They can take a simple, boring bunch of facts and spin it into something hilarious. Laughter is the balm of life. We always need someone around who can rub it on.

Once you read the book, you'll know how important it is for Sweet Potato Queens to enjoy dancing. A couple of my friends are very skilled at this. Trixie Jean has more rhythm in her little finger than most white folks have in their whole gene pool. She's bouncing as soon as the music starts - and we're talking any kind of music, here. I can't swear to it, but I'd wager Trixie Jean boogies down to elevator music when she's riding solo.

My friend, Trixie Lu, loves to dance, too. But then, she's Italian. We get invited to various family affairs at their house. It doesn't matter what might be happening at any given moment, but when the CD starts playing "That's Amore" everyone stops and joins in. It's great.

And my friend, Trixie Moe, has air guitar down to a tee. I even have videos to prove it!

Even though Trixie Jane moved to Texas, she would make a good member of our Sweet Potato Queen court. She can really throw a party! Once you get a few drinks in her, she could probably rival Trixie Jo with story-telling.

Trixie Ann already has big hair. Plus she has a new convertible that we could all ride in. I wish she'd bought a red one instead of a white one. It would make sitting on the back and doing the parade wave much more eye-catching. (Come to think of it, Trixie Sue has a convertible, too, albeit another white one. I have a pewter one, but it only seats two people.) We'd have to enlist a number of Official Consorts to the Queens (like the originals' Lance Romance) to drive these convertibles, so that all the Queens could sit on the back and wave.

Sweet Potato Queens are queens for life. They never have to give back the tiara, and they finally get those majorette boots that we all wanted when we were little. I don't mean to brag, but I actually DID get white majorette boots to go along with my majorette costume one Christmas. As a matter of fact, I also got a tiara one birthday. And I have photos to prove both these facts. Yet another reason why I think I would make such a great Sweet Potato Queen.

The Queens originated in Jackson, Mississippi. (My nephew once lived in Jackson, Mississippi !!). They get to ride on a float every year in the St. Patrick's Day Parade. I regret to say that I never got to ride on a float. I always wanted to, but I was never selected to ride on one. This has probably scarred me for life, but I try not to let it affect my personality.

In one chapter, Jill Connor Browne talks about the Neshoba County Fair which is held each year near Philadelphia, Mississippi. (My niece and her family go there, too!! I've heard her talk about how much fun it is!) It just confirms my destiny when I read about all the things I have in common with the original queens.

My family in Alabama are the closest things to Sweet Potato Queens that I've ever met personally. This is because they participate BIG TIME in Mardis Gras. I could add them to my Sweet Potato Queen court - they would make good Trixies with their attitudes, and they have plenty of experience riding on floats and wearing garish clothing. But is this fair? I mean - they get to ride on a float every year without even having to be a Sweet Potato Queen.

The Alabama Trixies do love to dance, and they are good at karaoke. (They would do these things even if they weren't any good at it - it's just the way they are.) They throw good parties, too. Even after a hurricane washes away the hot tub and landscaping, they'll just hose off the porch and put boards down so that guests don't have to traipse through the mud from their car to the house. Plus Trixie Win has a lot of potential Sweet Potato Queen friends, and Trixie May already has red hair. I guess we'll include them and Trixie Kay. I don't get to see her a lot, but I suspect there is some definite devilment in there.

Same goes for my friend, Trixie Ella. She, too, has a convertible, and hers is red! She, too, knows how to put on a spread. She could probably put together our corsages from what she grows in her greenhouse. She's very talented that way.

There are other Trixies who would definitely add to the spice of our Sweet Potato Queen Court. There are probably even a number of Wannabes. I suspect we could cause quite a stir if we tried just a little.

And that's what I, Trixie Dawn, want to be when I grow up.