Forget the Dishes

We have a friend who has a second home in the mountains. He says that the moment he crests the hill as he nears the house, he finds his "zone." All is right with the world; his troubles melt away, and he can finally relax.

I can identify with that. I find my "zone" when I'm watching the birds in my backyard. I'll sit at the kitchen table, my feet propped up, my coffee in hand, perhaps with a cat in my lap and a dog or two under my chair, and I'll watch the birds dine from the 5 feeding stations in my yard. No worries. Just peace, quiet, and the beautiful birds. The serenity is broken only when my border collie sees an intruding squirrel that she MUST deal with.

I haven't always been able to do this. Perhaps it's age and the wisdom that I like to think comes with it. As we get closer to the twilight of our own mortality, or as we see our parents begin to reach the end of theirs, perhaps we are able to appreciate the small things that surround us; things that we have taken for granted in the past. Like mountains. or birds. Life is just too short to be stressed out about things.

Some things we simply cannot change. There are those for whom this is a tough concept to accept, and they beat themselves up trying foresee and control consequences that are absolutely not in their chain of command. Such a waste of time and energy.

Still others believe their lives must be perfectly ordered and follow a prescribed path in order to be successful. Their houses must be beautifully decorated and clean at all times. Their children must be well-behaved and at the top of their class. Their hair must be coiffed; their nails must be manicured. Any obstacle sends them into a tailspin. Then, after ensuring all this perfection, they're too tired to enjoy the 'Utopia" they've tried so hard to create, or else it falls woefully short of their unrealistic expectations, and they're disappointed.

You know what? If you don't like my nails, or if my house is too dirty for you, or my children get on your nerves, then go visit someone else. You must not be coming to see me anyway.

Sadly, the economy of today and the uncertainty of jobs too often dictates that we must devote our lives to our work. Folks arrive at their desks at dawn, and don't leave until well after dusk. They bring the work home with them, and probably dream about it at night. Is it any wonder that we burn out so quickly? Maybe the Taiwanese have at least part of the solution: after lunch, they put their heads on their desks and take a power nap. (My husband noticed this during his recent business trip to the island.) At a certain hour, soothing "wake up" music is pumped in over the PA system, and everyone goes back to work, refreshed. Not a bad idea.

I believe it just isn't worth it to get so worked up about small things. So what if the dishes don't get cleaned up after supper? Think they're going anywhere? Wouldn't you rather spend some time hearing about your spouse's day or reading to your children? So what if the beds don't get made every morning? You're just going to mess them up again 12-15 hours later anyway. So what if the Christmas cards aren't mailed before Christmas? The P.O. still delivers on December 29; better yet - send Valentine cards!

Maybe we need to realize who's REALLY in charge and stop trying to call all the shots.

We only get one life. We need to visit our 'zone' every day. It is up to us to notice everything around us and appreciate the little things. We owe it to ourselves to prioritize what's really important and make the most of every moment we're given. I can assure you, we won't be judged by how clean our house was or how much money we made when we get to those Pearly Gates!

My sister-in-law forwarded this to me. I think it's great:

Stress Management. Think about it, and it makes a lot of sense. Stress Management.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
• Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
• Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
• Never buy a car you can't push.
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
• Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
• Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
• The second mouse gets the cheese.
• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. (too true!)
• We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.