When I Grow Up

We are who we are because of the many people with whom we come in contact all through our lives.

We are also who we are because God made us this way. Yet, God allows our paths to cross with those of other people who influence how we use what He gave us. We have choices in how we assimilate what we observe.

That said, I am who I am because of many people, and I aspire to be like many more.

My college roommate, Cathy, probably has no idea how she changed who I am, but she had a huge influence over an important part of who I wish to become. Cathy and I had been close friends for many years prior to college, but it took living with her to notice a terrific quality that she has. She remembers stuff. She remembered when I mentioned that I had a quiz - and she remembered to ask how it went. She remembered my favorite color. She remembered that I like a certain food. She remembered minute details about me that I couldn't have told you about her. Cathy LISTENED to me - even my mundane ramblings. Cathy PAID ATTENTION to my world. She REMEMBERED all these things. I was impressed, and I vowed to try to do the same things. 30 years later, I'm better at it, but I still want to be more like Cathy.

My friend, Valarie, is pious. She has a peace and calm about her that weathers any storm with grace and strength. It is her faith. She is able to see the silver lining. She turns the other cheek. She never seeks recognition, yet it is Valarie in the background working diligently, seeing that the job gets done. She serves her God and exemplifies what He hopes for us to be. Someone may make her angry, but Valarie doesn't retort. Valarie retreats, often humming her favorite hymn, until the storm is over. Her strength is her faith. I want to be more like Valarie.

My mother-in-law is similar in the strength of her faith. She has a self-appointed ministry to those who are hurting. She is the one who is there when a loved one is ill or has died. She is also the one who calls often after the fact to check on you. She remembers birthdays, losses, successes, and encouragement with cards and notes. She loves unconditionally and genuinely cares for friends and strangers alike. She credits her mother for teaching her this incredible compassion. Well, her mother would be incredibly proud of how she's carried on this selfless tradition. I want to me more like my mother-in-law.

My friends, Jennie and Susan, are two of the most clever people I've ever met. They are great story-tellers and can make my sides ache from laughter. Jennie comes up with the greatest one-liners that I strain to remember. I'll hope for a situation to present itself that will allow me to parrot them. (My delivery will never be as good, though). Susan can take a troublesome situation and describe it in a way that removes the sting and presents the humor. She has a way of stripping away all facades of an event or behavior, and of getting right to the heart of the matter. She sees the forest for the trees. Then she describes it with a twinkle in her eye. Oh I wish I could be clever like Jennie and Susan.

My friend, Jeannie, has enough energy for her and me both to run a marathon. We've been friends since first grade, and I think Jeannie's always been this way. I may have had energy at one time in my life, but then I turned 40 and it dissipated. Jeannie's didn't. She teaches aerobics, pilates, yoga, and step, and other sweat-producing activities . (She works in a gym). All one has to do is turn on some music, and Jeannie starts to move. She has rhythm that we all envied. It's a safe bet to say that Jeannie will outlive us all, and still be dancing! I want to be more like Jeannie.

My friend, Dot, is just plain good. She is considerate, knows how to do and say all the right things, and gives much more of herself than she ever expects to receive. She is devoted to her church work and her family. She is upbeat. She is a class act. Dot takes the time to be interested in what's going on in your life, and she knows just what to say to applaud or improve things. She is patient and non-judgmental. She can gently correct you without making you feel diminished. She is quick to offer help. I want to be more like Dot.

My daughter must've gleaned all the good genes from both my husband and me. I'm constantly amazed at her grace, compassion, intelligence, and abilities. We are so proud at how she dedicates herself to her job with medically fragile children. Somewhere she learned how to be a wonderful hostess (maybe from my friend, Susan). Somewhere she learned how to be a terrific cook (no doubt from my mother-in-law). She has the keen mind of her dad. She is beautiful on the inside and the outside. I think she did get her organizational skills from me! She is a devoted wife and will be a fabulous mother someday. When I grow up, I want to be more like my daughter.

All these women have influenced who I am today. They have shaped my goals. I am grateful and honored to know them. And there are many more whom I have not described, including others in my family. But that may be another post for another day. I am indeed blessed.

We all are blessed. All we need to do is pay attention. Instead of focusing on what we want to say next, we would do well to listen to what's being said to us. Instead of worrying about what we need to do, perhaps we can learn more by observing what others are doing.

Meanwhile, when I grow up I want to be more like Cathy, and Valarie, and Jennie, and Susan, and Jeannie, and Dot, and my mother-in-law, and my daughter.