30 Years Worth of Wisdom

My better half and I celebrated 30 years of wedded bliss this month. We feel rather smug about ourselves, thank you very much.

Upon reflection, I realize that I have amassed quite a bit of wisdom over these 30 years, and I feel compelled to share some of it.

MISCELLANEOUS TIDBITS

Check the circuit breakers before calling a repair man

For every output, there must be an input. Get your glasses and read the labels on the connections.

Before replacing leaky faucets or sprinkler systems, have the water pressure checked.

Spackling, sanding, taping, and dusting are well worth the time spent before painting a room.

Before assuming your dishwasher is broken (because you've already checked the circuit breaker), look under the sink for an on/off switch.

Butterfly bushes take up a lot of space. You really don't need to plant two.

Putting a chair beneath a hummingbird feeder makes it sticky.

Grubs grow into Japanese Beetles. Lots of them.

When water skiing, lean back; when snow skiing, lean forward.

You can't boil water for coffee on a Buddy Burner when the power goes off.

If you don't have time to wash the paint brushes when you're through painting for the day, put them in a zip lock bag in the refrigerator, and they'll still be pliant for painting the same color again the next day.

When you need to remove melted candle wax from a tart burner, put it in the freezer for a few minutes, and the wax pops right off.

If you let leaves and tree stuff clog up the vents on your car underneath the windshield wipers, water will leak onto your floorboard.

Read the book before seeing the movie.

You gotta have a sense of humor when living with teenagers. Otherwise, you'll cry.

Don't let yourself get too emotionally involved when your teenager comes to you in total dismay over some huge crisis. You may lose hours of sleep from worry when, most likely, the situation has resolved itself after 3 hours, but no one thought to let you know that everything was okay.

Getting a college degree generally takes longer than 4 years. Plan ahead for tuition.

College textbooks cost almost as much as room and board.

Just because they graduate doesn't mean they won't come back home.

Pick your battles.

Never buy a high school student a brand new car. Wait until they graduate from college to be so generous.

Kids and spouses never tire of being praised.

Watch for opportunities to give compliments.

To diffuse an angry encounter, fess up to a stupid mistake and apologize. (assuming it is your fault.)

A smile makes everything warmer.

Go to weddings and funerals. It means much more than you realize.

Teenagers really are a lot of fun. They keep you young, if they don't kill you first.

Cats throw up when you change their diet.

To teach a little boy to aim, float cheerios in the toilet.

Never demean your spouse in public. In fact, do all you can to make him look good in front of his colleagues and friends.

Listen, and remember.

Nagging only makes everyone miserable. Especially you.

You cannot change someone from who they were before you married them.

Separate checking accounts is a good idea.

Pay off credit cards every month. Or don't use them.

Understand that you either have kids and pets OR you have an immaculate house. You can't have both. Get over it.

Family is everything. Nurture those relationships.

Do not be judgmental; it makes people stop telling you things. Instead, say things like: "oh really?" or "oh goodness" or "and how did that make you feel?"

People are the same, no matter where you live.

The CEO puts on his underwear the same way as you do.

Party guests don't care if the bedrooms are spotless. Focus more on having a good time and less on killing yourself getting ready for the event.

Good neighbors are true treasures.

Pets should never be allowed to wander. Bad things happen. This includes cats.

Dogs love you unconditionally. All the time. It feels great.

You can learn a lot about someone if you watch their facial expression.

Collect something. It makes gift-giving much easier for relatives.

Keep a notebook of Christmas gifts to buy, bought, and received. Every year.

Buy Christmas presents all year long. Finish by November.

If something is truly meant to be, it won't go away.

We are not in charge. Stop trying to call all the shots.

Life is too short to be unhappy.

I'm sure I'll think of more as I continue to reflect. If you have any to add, feel free to do so!

The Bluebird Diaries - From the Landlord

Bonnie Blue and Mister Blue kept the fledglings hidden away for about two weeks. This was for their own safety. Meantime, they were learning how to fly and to find their own food.

I wasn't sure I'd ever see them again.

I noticed a chickadee looking over the bungalow. Later, I noticed twigs protruding from the sides of the nesting box. I had removed Bonnie Blue's nest once the chicks fledged. Imagine my surprise when I found another nest that looked exactly the same!

Someone had been busy!

I noticed a female wren trying to navigate a large pine needle through the entrance of the box, so I figured it must be a nest of wrens, even though it had all the characteristics of a bluebird nest.

I was wrong.

On Friday, there was a perfect sky blue egg in the nest! Wrens don't lay sky blue eggs.



For the next three days, I watched Bonnie Blue going in and out of the bungalow. I knew it was her and Mister because they immediately recognized the mealworm dish when I placed it near the condo. Also, they returned to their same perches as before.

Each day I would check the nesting box, and each day I found a new egg. By Monday, there were three!

That afternoon, I heard a ruckus outside my office window. There was Blue Velvet and Elijah Blue on the roof! Mister Blue brought them to see their mom while she laid the eggs!



Bluebirds can lay two to three clutches of eggs per season, but I never figured these two would have another brood so soon. I was thrilled, and I kept diligent watch.

The day after finding the third egg and seeing the older fledglings, I once again checked the box. This time, one egg was missing, and I began to get concerned.



A raccoon, a snake, a wren, or a house sparrow can remove one egg from a nest without disturbing the others. In this case, it would've been impossible for a raccoon to get an arm inside the box with the veranda on it. I didn't really think it was a snake. I suspected it was the wren. In the days to follow there were no more eggs missing. But Bonnie Blue was nowhere to be seen.

House sparrows are mortal enemies of the bluebird. They are known to remove the eggs, kill the nestlings, and kill the adult. I suspect this could be what happened, but I don't know. I haven't seen any house sparrows in my yard.

Since the loss of the first egg, I've seen no bird at all checking out the birdhouse, although I did see Mister Blue fly into the box this morning. I wonder if he was looking for Bonnie Blue, or was he merely checking on the condition of the remaining eggs?

The eggs can go for about a week without having to be incubated, but, once begun, the female must remain diligent in keeping the eggs warm. Furthermore, only the female can incubate the eggs. The male has no "pouch" with which to cover them.

PostScript: This morning I found the remaining two eggs broken on the ground beneath the nesting box. I suspect it was another bird's handiwork. Probably the wren. I will watch to see who starts to build in the box, and may or may not discard that nest before it's used. I'd like to reserve the box for bluebirds even if I have to plug the hole until next spring. Nest box inhabitants can grow to be territorial.

The Bluebird Diaries - Epilogue

It was a dark and stormy night.

After a week of uncomfortably high temperatures, the Earth's fever finally broke. What followed was a deluge of rain, soaking the ground and everything around it. The pores of the heavens released the moisture that had built up from days of heat. Lightening bolts illuminated the starless sky. Thunder rumbled, and the land trembled.

As dawn's light began to twinkle on the horizon, Mister Blue and I checked on our babies. They had just spent their first night in a frightening thunder storm.

They were very happy to see us.

"Mama!" cried Jackie Blue, "don't make us stay in here any longer! We want to come with you and Daddy!"

"We can do it, Mama," echoed Blue Velvet.

Elijah Blue fluttered his wings and looked hopeful.

There was no time to lose. More rain was on the way. We would have to get in some quick flying lessons if these fledglings were to survive the days ahead.

Well before the landlord was awake, Mister Blue and I lead our newly fledged babies through some drills in the trees outside her window. We knew she would be sad to miss seeing the babies fly away for the first time, so we called our good-byes to her in those early morning hours from the nearby trees. I hope she heard us.

In only 18 days, our babies went from a clutch of eggs, to hatchlings, to nestlings, to fledglings. Now they'll stay with Mister Blue and me for the next few weeks while we teach them to find their own bugs and to become strong fliers. Their older brothers and sisters will be around to help, too. In fact we'll all pretty much stay together until Fall.

Sooner or later they'll find their own mates and build their own nests for next season's brooding. Maybe they'll even come back to see the landlord with the mealworms, the hose mister, and the camera.

"You know, Bonnie Blue," sighed Mister, "they probably won't stay around here when they raise their own babies."

This was true, I had to admit. Our journey wasn't over yet, though, and besides,
"Tomorrow is another day."

Want to start at the beginning?

The Bluebird Diaries - Chapter 7

Look at our little sleeping angel.

This is Elijah Blue, only 9 days old.

These days, Mister Blue and I spend much of our time collecting bugs and feeding babies. Every morning, our landlord delivers fresh mealworms to the deli. We watch for her and barely wait for her to turn the corner before we're filling up our beaks with juicy mealworms for our nestlings. That's why they're growing so fast - all that protein!

Here is a photo of all three babies at 9 days old.

You can see they're sprouting some wing feathers now.

Much to the photographer's chagrin, the babies all play 'possum' whenever she opens the door to the bungalow to snap a picture. But you let Mister or me land on the veranda with a bug, and those necks crane upward, beaks open, and the cheeping commences.

We're actually quite proud that our nestlings are so smart and cautious to possible intruders.

Now that they're getting bigger, Mister and I aren't always happy about daily photo sessions. Yesterday we both buzzed the photographer while she took these pictures of them at 11 days old. If you look closely, you can see Jackie Blue (at the top) peeking through one eye at the camera.

As our babies near the age of fledging (around 14-23 days), we must be careful not to let them jump out of the nest prematurely. Even though they won't be able to survive on their own, they will not return to the nest which would be fatal for them.

The last few days have been milder, but we fear the next few will be hot again.

Last week when the landlord turned on the hose mister for us, the yard man who lives in the building next door posted a sign on one of the trees near our condo:

WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
8:00

Mister Blue thought it was hilarious. He wanted to put on a wet tee-shirt and go sit on the yard man's back deck.

I was just thankful the older kids weren't around to see it, and I was saved from having to explain what it meant!

Next: Epilogue

The Bluebird Diaries - Chapter 6

Look how much my babies change in just two days!

The first picture was taken when they were four days old; the second picture was made when they were six days old. They are getting so fuzzy!

Of course, their eyes aren't open yet, and they still sleep a lot, but they sure know it when Mister Blue or I come to the nest with a bug! Such a racket as you've never heard!

The temperatures here dropped twenty degrees one day this week. Imagine, going from 87 one day to 67 the next. Well, you can be sure I stayed on the nest that entire day. My babies' body temperatures aren't regulated yet, and they needed to be kept warm.

Of course, the next day was back up in the 90's, so they were fine by themselves. The landlord even turned on the hose mister again for us.

This morning our landlord moved the mealworm deli closer to our bungalow. All our kids were with us. They wanted some of those readily-available worms, but we insisted they find their own bugs. These were for the babies! You just can't always make it too easy for kids lest they learn to be lazy.

In this picture, my mouth is full of mealworms! Please pardon my manners, but it's easier to take a mouthful to the nest than one at the time!

BlueBerry likes to go with her dad to feed the babies. She will make a good little mama one day.

Nestlings stay put for about 16 to 22 days before leaving the nest. After that, they'll stay with us for food and protection for three to four more weeks.

Mister teases me about being an empty-nester.

"Bonnie Blue, you won't know what to do with yourself when all these kids fly the coop."

Oh, he just doesn't know!

Next: The wet tee-shirt contest

The Bluebird Diaries - Chapter 5

Last week, I spent nearly all my time on the nest. Mister Blue brought the older kids to the roof across the street, so I could see them.

Of course, they just couldn't stay away from me.

"Mama?" one called, "are you in there?"

"I'm here, BlueBerry."

"Are the eggs hatching yet?"

As a matter of fact, they were!

On Friday, we had two hatchlings! Blue Velvet and Elijah Blue! Aren't they precious?

Mister Blue was beside himself. He passed out mealworms to all the other birds, whether they liked them or not!

He is really good about helping to feed the hatchlings. We both take turns digging up grubs or bugs to bring to them. Mister Blue likes to feed them. He is forever poking his head in the bungalow, just to make sure everything is all right.

The weather didn't get scorching hot again until a couple of days ago, so our babies stayed at a good temperature. Most of the time they sleep.

We keep a close watch now. This is when those poor chickadee hatchlings met their demise. I just don't think I could stand it if something happened to my angels.

Our landlord feels like they're her babies, too! She checks on them nearly everyday. She makes sure they don't get too hot by turning on the hose. It really helps.

Two days later, we had a third hatchling - Jackie Blue! We'll be happy with three babies even if the fourth egg doesn't hatch. No doubt we will stay busy collecting bugs for their hungry bellies as they grow bigger.

There are a lot of finch fledglings twittering around the bird feeder now. They're doing pretty well at landing and cracking their own seeds. Sometimes Mister Blue and I sit on the hook and watch them all. It won't be too long before our own brood will be flitting around, only they won't be eating seeds.

Here are the three hatchlings so far. We are so proud!

Next: Mealworms!

The Bluebird Diaries - Chapter 4

I'm still here.

Like I told you before, the waiting is the hardest part. At least the air is cooler. I can handle temps in the 80's, but any hotter, and I'm dying in here.

Sometimes I get bored.

Other times I daydream.

Quite often, I watch the activity that goes on in our yard and the yard next door.

I watch the landlord refilling the bird feeders and bird baths. Most times her 4-legged barking machines accompany her and pee in the bushes next to our condo. What is it with that? One pees and the other comes along right behind it, and pees in the same place!

Most afternoons, there are lots of boys throwing a ball into a basket in the driveway next door. Sometimes they stop doing that and start chasing each other through their yard, our yard, the yard on the other side, or even the yards across the street. Looks like they're having such fun!

And here are my babies. Bluer than ever and so, so cute! On the left there is Elijah Blue, at the top is Blue Jean, to the right is Jackie Blue, and at the bottom is Blue Velvet.

Aren't they precious?

I figure I have about a week more to go before one of them starts to peck out of its shell.

Stay tuned!

Next: Hatchlings!

The Bluebird Diaries - Chapter 3

They're all here! The clutch is complete! Four beautiful sky blue eggs! Mister Blue and I are so excited!

We knew we might have anywhere from 3 to possibly 7 eggs. We also knew that our second brood of the breeding season would likely number fewer than the first. Four eggs are just right!

And now, we wait. 12 to 14 long days and nights. Once incubation begins, it must be continuous. This is going to be the hard part.

Mister Blue comes to check on me regularly.

"Bonnie Blue?" he calls, "is there anything I can get you?"

He is just the sweetest bird. I hope these babies have his thoughtful genes.

All he needs to do for me, though, is mind those older fledglings. That and make sure I'm not disturbed.

Wouldn't you know that I would pick the hottest days of the year so far to begin sitting on these eggs? Some folks might think it's hot enough for them to incubate themselves, but I'm not taking any chances. I stay on them as long as I can stand it, and then I take a short break to cool off and have a snack.

Our landlord is concerned about me. She knows how hot it must get inside this little bungalow, especially in the afternoon sun. On days that the temperatures go into the 90's, she sets up a garden hose to spray mist around the condo.

She remembered a visit to Las Vegas one summer when it was too hot to breathe. Many of the resorts had cool mists blowing out at the entryways. It made it much more comfortable to wait outside for a taxi. I guess she figures misting my house will lower the temperature a few degrees.

I must say, it has been more tolerable. I can stick my head outside the door, open my beak, and feel the spray on my face.

Our landlord is so good to us. First the veranda, now the cool mist. Maybe she'll add some additional condos for next season. If she does, we'll sure have to tell our friends about this place.

I wish you could see Mister Blue dive-bombing that chipmunk over there. He's very selective about who gets to hang around the neighborhood.

I figure I have about 10 or 11 more days to go. Stay tuned!

Next: Bonnie Blue names the babies.

The Bluebird Diaries - Chapter 2

The neighborhood is quickly becoming a din of cheeps and twitters. Fledglings are in the trees and on the feeders, noisily calling for their parents to "feed me first!"

The Titmouse family seems to have produced the most babies. My goodness, they are everywhere! There are also many Finch fledglings - both purple finches and gold finches. Mister Blue and I are happy to note some Chickadee fledglings after the unfortunate demise of our bungalow's previous residents.

Now that our nest is decorated just the way I like it, it's time for me to get busy.

While Mister Blue tends to the fledglings from our last brood, I spend the morning in the bungalow. Those little guys do miss their mama, though.

One morning I had a visit from Blue Chip. He couldn't figure out how to navigate our veranda, since his nest was without one. It was just as well. I didn't really care to address his issues at the same time I was concentrating on egg-laying!

I shooed him on back to his dad.

Mister Blue checks on me throughout the morning. He is very attentive like that.

Sometimes we talk about names for the babies. I'm thinking maybe Jackie Blue or Blue Jean or maybe Blue Belle.

"How about Blue Lagoon?" Mister suggested.

You know, I didn't even dignify that one with a response.

No baby of mine will be called Blue Lagoon.

Finally, our first egg arrived! Isn't it just the cutest thing you've ever seen?

I will lay an egg every morning until the entire clutch is laid - usually 3 to 5 eggs. Since this one is blue, they will all be blue. The presence of an odd-colored egg might indicate that some other bird has dumped her egg in my nest! We won't be having any of that.

Next: The days get long and hot.

The Bluebird Diaries - Chapter 1

Mister Blue put some pine straw in the bungalow to show me how nicely it matched the interior decor. He left a little at the front door as a doormat. Works well, don't you think?


I decided that the condo he selected would indeed be acceptable, and I began to build the nest.

Not an easy task, let me tell you.

"Need any help?" Mister wanted to know. He is a thoughtful fellow.

"Oh no," I said, "thanks all the same." Men just don't know the intricacies of tucking in the bed sheet corners. They'd just stuff 'em under any old way. There is an art to it.


The neighborhood had an ample supply of pine needles, grass, and weeds. I had no trouble collecting all I needed.

Mister would check in on me from time to time, offering suggestions on where to position the furniture. I ususally just nodded my head politely, and put things where I originally intended.

By the end of the afternoon, I pretty much had things where I wanted them.


We had a well constructed nest with just the right amount of depth, width, and space from the front door. Mister and I both thought it would make a good place for our next brood.

Mister fairly twittered as he surveyed the yard, "Bonnie Blue, you've done it again. This is a fine nest indeed. As long as we can keep those pesky wrens and house sparrows away, we'll soon have another healthy lot of babies."


I reminded him that we still had a healthy lot of teenagers waiting back home at the other apartment. We needed to be getting back before they had time to invite all their friends over for a wild party.

Next: Mister Blue stands guard.

The Bluebird Diaries - Prologue

We looked for a suitable place for sometime. About three weeks ago, Mister Blue came to me and said, "Bonnie Blue, do you want the good news first or the bad news first?"

I said, "The good news." I am an optomist.

Mister told me he found the most delightful little bungalow with a great view over a yard chock full of bugs. There is water and food close by. The neighborhood was already full of kids, and many of the families live there year round because of the many restaurants available just around the corner.

Why, it did sound perfect! I usually worry about Mister being the one to scout out living quarters for us; he just has no sense of decorating, y'know. I, myself, like the rustic decor. All he likes is a roof that doesn't leak. But it did sound like he had done pretty well this time.

"So," I asked, "what's the bad news?"

"It was occupied."

Apparently, a pair of chickadees laid claim to the condo as soon as it went up, and they were right territorial about it. When Mister stopped by to check it out, they went into a tizzy, making all sorts of racket.

We were back to square one. Time was running short, too. As luck would have it -at least it was good luck for us- within a week, the condo became available again.

Sadly, the luck wasn't so good for the chickadees. Sometime overnight, something happened to the brood. One day, the babies were being noisy as babies will be. The next day, there was only silence. Only their dad remained nearby. One baby was found in the yard next door; two babies were still in the nest. All three had gone to the trees of the Great Phoenix in the sky. There was no sign of the mother.

Understandably, Mister and I were dubious about the neighborhood after that. We couldn't raise our children in an area that was unsafe. Who would've thought such dangers lurked in such a pleasant setting? Fortunately, the landlord realized this and took action.

The day after the unfortunate chickadee incident, we noticed a new addition to the little bungalow. A veranda! We've never had a porch on a condo before. This one was open-aired and allowed for one of us to perch on the roof and look behind, while the other perches on the veranda and surveys ahead. What a nice addition! It added more security to the inside of the place, too.

Not only that, a new deli opened up right next door. Its specialty was meal worms! We had indeed found the perfect place! At last we could get to work.






Next: Mister Blue and Bonnie Blue choose furniture.

Sweet Potato Queens

I know now what I want to be when I grow up.

A Sweet Potato Queen.

If you haven't read Jill Connor Browne's books, you are missing something. I suggest you begin at the beginning with "The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love." This will pretty much explain why I feel I would make a right good Tammy. Subsequent books are titled: "God Save the Sweet Potato Queens," "The Sweet Potato Queens' Big A-- Cookbook and Financial Planner," "The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men," and the newest, "The Sweet Potato Queens Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide."

I have quite a few friends who would make good Tammys as well. But I think we'll be Trixies instead. Tammy is getting to be so overused.

Trixie Sue probably has the best Sweet Potato Queen attitude of us all. In fact she's the very one who got me started. She even talks like a Sweet Potato Queen, and Trixie Sue is quick on her feet. Let me tell you, she can spit out those one-liners faster than I can even think of a paragraph.

If you want someone who can tell a funny story with a straight face and have you holding your sides from laughing so hard, it would be Trixie Jo. Some people just have a knack for doing that, you know? They can take a simple, boring bunch of facts and spin it into something hilarious. Laughter is the balm of life. We always need someone around who can rub it on.

Once you read the book, you'll know how important it is for Sweet Potato Queens to enjoy dancing. A couple of my friends are very skilled at this. Trixie Jean has more rhythm in her little finger than most white folks have in their whole gene pool. She's bouncing as soon as the music starts - and we're talking any kind of music, here. I can't swear to it, but I'd wager Trixie Jean boogies down to elevator music when she's riding solo.

My friend, Trixie Lu, loves to dance, too. But then, she's Italian. We get invited to various family affairs at their house. It doesn't matter what might be happening at any given moment, but when the CD starts playing "That's Amore" everyone stops and joins in. It's great.

And my friend, Trixie Moe, has air guitar down to a tee. I even have videos to prove it!

Even though Trixie Jane moved to Texas, she would make a good member of our Sweet Potato Queen court. She can really throw a party! Once you get a few drinks in her, she could probably rival Trixie Jo with story-telling.

Trixie Ann already has big hair. Plus she has a new convertible that we could all ride in. I wish she'd bought a red one instead of a white one. It would make sitting on the back and doing the parade wave much more eye-catching. (Come to think of it, Trixie Sue has a convertible, too, albeit another white one. I have a pewter one, but it only seats two people.) We'd have to enlist a number of Official Consorts to the Queens (like the originals' Lance Romance) to drive these convertibles, so that all the Queens could sit on the back and wave.

Sweet Potato Queens are queens for life. They never have to give back the tiara, and they finally get those majorette boots that we all wanted when we were little. I don't mean to brag, but I actually DID get white majorette boots to go along with my majorette costume one Christmas. As a matter of fact, I also got a tiara one birthday. And I have photos to prove both these facts. Yet another reason why I think I would make such a great Sweet Potato Queen.

The Queens originated in Jackson, Mississippi. (My nephew once lived in Jackson, Mississippi !!). They get to ride on a float every year in the St. Patrick's Day Parade. I regret to say that I never got to ride on a float. I always wanted to, but I was never selected to ride on one. This has probably scarred me for life, but I try not to let it affect my personality.

In one chapter, Jill Connor Browne talks about the Neshoba County Fair which is held each year near Philadelphia, Mississippi. (My niece and her family go there, too!! I've heard her talk about how much fun it is!) It just confirms my destiny when I read about all the things I have in common with the original queens.

My family in Alabama are the closest things to Sweet Potato Queens that I've ever met personally. This is because they participate BIG TIME in Mardis Gras. I could add them to my Sweet Potato Queen court - they would make good Trixies with their attitudes, and they have plenty of experience riding on floats and wearing garish clothing. But is this fair? I mean - they get to ride on a float every year without even having to be a Sweet Potato Queen.

The Alabama Trixies do love to dance, and they are good at karaoke. (They would do these things even if they weren't any good at it - it's just the way they are.) They throw good parties, too. Even after a hurricane washes away the hot tub and landscaping, they'll just hose off the porch and put boards down so that guests don't have to traipse through the mud from their car to the house. Plus Trixie Win has a lot of potential Sweet Potato Queen friends, and Trixie May already has red hair. I guess we'll include them and Trixie Kay. I don't get to see her a lot, but I suspect there is some definite devilment in there.

Same goes for my friend, Trixie Ella. She, too, has a convertible, and hers is red! She, too, knows how to put on a spread. She could probably put together our corsages from what she grows in her greenhouse. She's very talented that way.

There are other Trixies who would definitely add to the spice of our Sweet Potato Queen Court. There are probably even a number of Wannabes. I suspect we could cause quite a stir if we tried just a little.

And that's what I, Trixie Dawn, want to be when I grow up.

The Immigration Debate

True story . . .

A young woman slips across the border between Mexico and the US, determined to earn money to send back to her family. Any wage in the US is better than what she would earn in her native country. While in the US, she bears two children - both of whom are now US citizens. One child is born with special needs. Without proper care and services, he will die, but he is eligible for Medicaid and similar services. His mother just needs to be very careful about not getting caught.

The woman has a job on an assembly line where she is treated cruelly by her boss. She drives a car without a license or insurance because she must get her children to daycare and treatments. The three of them sleep in one bed in a run-down apartment, yet she continues to send what money she can to her family in Mexico.

If she is discovered to be in the US illegally, she will be deported. Her children will not. If she desires to become legal, she would first have to return to Mexico, without her children, and try to enter the US through proper channels - something that might take as many as three years. Even if her children were allowed to return with her, her special needs child would die for lack of necessary services in Mexico.

I listened to Mike Gallagher and Ralph Bristol on Talk Radio yesterday. The topic was the proposed Immigration bill that was approved by the Senate sub-committee with four Republican Senators voting along with all the Democratic Senators. The bill would pave the way for people living in the US illegally to pay a fine and apply for US citizenship without first having to return to their native country and re-enter legally, a lengthy process. Republican listeners were outraged; they felt they had been sold out by their representatives.

"What is it about 'illegal' that these guys don't understand?"

"A bill to grant citizenship to the illegal aliens is a slap in the face to those who have gone through the proper channels to be in the US legally."

As a rule, I tend to agree with the stauch conservative talk radio hosts. In this case, however, I think there's more to consider than may meet the eye.

1. There are perhaps 11 million illegal immigrants in the US, with more arriving daily. We made a big mistake by allowing this many people to cross out borders illegally in the first place. But now they're here, and they're reproducing. We have to do something about it.

2. Think of the sheer cost of rounding up 11 million people, assuming you could find them all, and deporting them. Now consider the children born on US soil who are, by birthright, US citizens. We can deport the parents, but not the children. What happens to them if their parents are sent away? Our already overloaded foster-child programs would explode. Furthermore, would you not go deeper into hiding if threatened with having to leave your children behind?

3. Even the most menial job in the US is better than most of those in Mexico. Immigrants will gladly do the labor that some in the US consider beneath them. The question to ask is: why do we US citizens consider these jobs beneath us? Perhaps because it is more desirable, or profitable, to be on welfare than to get a job doing menial labor. We have created a society of entitlement.

4. Illegal immigrants are unaccounted for in our system. It is a threat to our domestic security to have millions of people living here anonymously. They pay no taxes; their employers are not required to meet standards on their behalf; they may not receive welfare or government services, yet they are still living among us quite easily. Could it not be as easy for a terrorist to do the same thing? We need to know who lives in the United States.

So this proposal would open the door for "guest workers" to acquire US citizenship and all the rights and services enjoyed therewith. Okay. That might work fairly well if the open window was temporary and, at the same time, we strictly enforced border control.

Allow the illegals to pay the fine (essentially, back taxes) in installments. Allow them to apply for citizenship over a two year period. Make it very unattractive for employers to hire anyone in this country who is here illegally. Make it equally unattractive for someone to live in this country illegally; furthermore, if they are caught, deport them with no way to ever enter legally. Deny citizenship to anyone who has been convicted of criminal activity in the US; in fact send those people back to their native country with no hope of ever being allowed to return.

I do have a problem with the gangs that immigrants are bringing with them. Anyone who is convicted of a crime, even after they have received citizenship, should be stripped of it and deported. What we don't have to tolerate is illegal activities committed by illegal or illegal-turned-legal immigrants against our society. This policy should have no exceptions.

Realistically, there is no way to deport 11 million people. It is in our best interest to account for all those living within our borders. It protects the legal immigrants as well as the US citizenry. We need to incorporate them into the system for tax purposes as well as for security reasons. Then deport those unwilling to come forward of their own accord, and afford them no chance of returning.

This unfortunate dilemma could have been avoided in the first place if we'd had more control over our borders. But, in fact, we did not. Now we have a problem, and we have to deal with it realistically. Forget the wage issue. Forget the partisan issue. There are 11 million people who are in our country illegally. This poses a threat to our society, economically and security-wise.

Lastly, though not leastly, politicians who enjoy the perks of being an elected official and who would like to stay in that positition, are no dummies. Think of the voting power of 11 million people who are given a chance at US citizenship because of your favorable vote on a proposed bill. US citizens are also US voters. Hmmm. Let's just hope these politicians cast their vote for the right reasons.

What Are We Thinking?

In Afghanistan, a former Muslim was arrested after his family accused him of converting to Christianity. The man confessed to converting 16 years ago while working as a medical aid worker for an International Christian group. If convicted, he may face the death penalty. The judge in the case said that, while they are not against any particular religion of the world, this was against Afghanistan law and was considered an attack on Islam. The prosecutor offered to drop the charges if the man converted back to Islam. When the offer was refused, he said, "We are Muslims and becoming a Christian is against our laws. He must get the death penalty."

Be very grateful to the soldiers who are risking their lives so this sort of thing doesn't happen to us.

*****

I think those t-shirts with the warning "Don't Snitch" on it are sending a bad message to our kids. This sort of attitude is exactly why so much criminal activity goes unpunished. Who would want to encourage such a thing? unless it's the criminals.

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Where are the consciences of the creators of graphic, violent video games and movies? An entire generation is now desensitized to pain, suffering, and murder at the hands of thugs or so-called enemies. Who would want this to happen? Who would consider this entertainment? except the devil's operatives. In my opinion, anyone who would promote such violence has no consideration for the effects it has on society.

*****

Faith in God is becoming overshadowed by greed. Anyone with solid beliefs in their respective religions would not become involved in harmful pursuits such as those listed above. If more people stood by religious doctrines that do not encourage violence or criminal activity, it stands to reason that our world would be more tolerant and much safer. It would be so because people would be more concerned with the well-being of each other than in making a buck or maintaining power at any expense.

As I've said before, Satan is alive and thriving in our own back yards, and his army is growing exponentially by the lure of money and power. How else can we explain the infusion of drugs, gangs, violence, crime, and death that we are experiencing nowadays? Why try to do good works when it's so much more profitable to do otherwise?

I expect there is Standing Room Only in the canyons of hell. For me, I prefer to earn my spot on the back row next to the potted palm tree in the garden of heaven.

Gizmos

As we were growing up, we used to laugh at my dad for having so many gizmos. No gift delighted him more than some sort of gadget designed to make life easier. He was the first to have a weed popper - a stick with prongs on the end to insert beneath the dandelion roots, then step on the lever to pop them out of the ground. He had a yellow flag on the mailbox that sprung up when the door was opened, letting him know that the mail had arrived. He had a knob on his steering wheel that enabled him to turn it with one hand. He claims he never had a clapper to turn on lights, but I'll bet he wished he had. These were just a few.

Now my children laugh at me. I am my father's daughter.

Perhaps this explains why I am such a computer geek - after all, the computer is one big gizmo with countless ways to make life easier, but there are more.

I have the fork that registers internal meat temperatures. I have the Bluetooth earpiece with voice commands for my cell phone. I have the litter locker that encloses cat litter waste in cellophane for odorless storage until the bag gets thrown away. I have a SpotBot, which, by the way, works beautifully.

Gizmos with timers are great. I can set the dishwasher to start in 2 hours if someone is in the shower. I love waking to the smell of brewing coffee from my preset coffee maker. I can set the timer to turn on and off Christmas lights. If I knew how to program it, and if I watched TV, I could set the DVD to record a television show. The sprinkler is set to come on at certain times and on certain areas of the yard.

I don't have one, but I think those projection alarm clocks that display the time on the ceiling in big numbers would be great for someone like me who is, for the most part, blind as a bat. I wish I had one of those bird feeders that swings around an invading squirrel until it is slung off into the bushes. I really wish I had an ice maker that would make crunchy ice in large quantities. Crunchy ice like soda fountains used to serve is hard to find these days.

I do have some favorite gizmo selling websites for your perusal: check out The Vermont Country Store. They offer things many of us boomers will remember from our childhood - like the bun warmer that I remember seeing on my grandmama's stove. I had to have one of those. Remember Lanz pajamas? They got 'em. Remember ribcord beadspreads? Got 'em. Remember Rock'em, Sock'em Robots? Adams Sour Cherry or Sour Apple gum? Tangee lipstick? Ipana toothpaste? I love this store.

Another site with cool stuff is Improvements. Here you'll find solutions to storage dilemmas, holiday decor, outdoor decor, kitchen gizmos, and much more. Its loaded with neat stuff.

Of course, Current is adding more gizmos to its stock of cards, wrapping paper, scrapbooking supplies, and stationery. I particularly like the insurance and car registration holders to fit in your glove compartment.

Sharper Image has expensive gizmos, but they're fun to look at.

If you have a favorite gizmo or favorite gizmo store, let me know. I'm always open to things to make life easier. And, yes, I have a weed popper. But no clapper.

Harry Potter Fever

I don't care what anybody says, Harry Potter books are entertaining books. If you ever want to carry on a conversation with a young person, of nearly any age, just mention Harry Potter. My nephew is 10. He, his mom, and I have great discussions as to what will happen next in book seven. J.K. Rowling does a magnificent job of creating characters whose lives are entertwined in and out of all the stories. My daughter is 25; my son is 23. They join in the discussions enthusiastically as well. We all anticipate the next book and the next movie.

I was disappointed in the recent movie, The Goblet of Fire. I felt like director, Mike Newell, was more interested in making an action/love film than in telling the story. While the special effects were undoubtedly some of the best ever, too many important plotlines were omitted from the movie. I don't see how future films can provide continuity, given some of these important omissions. Happily, filming has begun on The Order of the Phoenix. Photos of the newly cast Luna Lovegood and Bellatrix LeStrange are available online.

After reading book six, The Half-Blood Prince, I reread all the books, in order. I highly recommend that Potter fans do the same. It's even more interesting to "watch" things unfold without having to wait years in between. I was reminded of facts I'd forgotten; I tied things together that I'd previously overlooked. I may repeat exercise when book seven is published.

There are some really good websites for Harry Potter fans. My favorite is JK Rowling's own site: www.JKRowling.com. Ms. Rowling does a great job of answering FAQ's from fans without giving anything away. It's an interactive site with cool sound effects. Occasionally you may get a teasing of information about the future of Harry, Hermoine, Ron, and other characters.

Another favorite site is the Harry Potter Lexicon (www.hp-lexicon.org). Therein are all the details one could imagine about things like: Sirius Black's family tree (could R.A.B. possibly be Sirius' brother, Regulus? or perhaps Amanda Bones?) or who's who among the wizarding world, or a handbook of Quidditch or a complete guide to magic. Potter fans can get lost in time perusing this website.

Some questions from inquiring minds: Is Dumbledore really dead? Could he have a horcrux? Is Snape really a bad guy? was killing Dumbledore part of a larger plan? Will Hogwarts open for Harry's seventh year? and will he really return there? What role will Neville play in the elimination of Voldemort? Could Snape actually be related to Dumbledore in some way?

Stay tuned.

State of Fear

Unquestionably, author Michael Crichton has a brilliant mind. His fiction is supported by detailed scientific information, even if you do not always agree with it. He must read innumerable scientific journals and reports to have such a vast array of knowledge. Furthermore, unlike simple folks like me, he understands what he reads!

His novel, State of Fear, is primarily a vehicle through which to expand some of his theories about rabid environmentalists and the political-legal-media influence on the thinking of the population. While the plot lends itself to the making of an edge-of-your-seat action movie, once Crichton makes his point, he quickly and predictably wraps things up. In doing so, he leaves some loose ends dangling. No matter. What I want to talk about is the thought-provoking ideas he puts forth.

One of these ideas is expounded upon in Chapter VI by a (seemingly) nutty professor. He rails about the "notion of social control."

". . . the requirement of every sovereign state to exert control over the behavior of its citizens, to keep them orderly and reasonably docile. . .To keep them paying taxes. And of course, we know that social control is best managed through fear.

. . . For fifty years, Western nations had maintained their citizens in a state of perpetual fear. Fear of the other side. Fear of nuclear war. The Communist menace. The Iron Curtain. The Evil Empire. And within the communist countries, the same in reverse. Fear of us. Then, suddenly, in the fall of 1989, it was all finished. . . . The fall of the Berlin Wall created a vacuum of fear. Nature abhors a vacuum. Something had to fill it.

. . . Industrialized nations provide their citizens with unprecedented safety, health, and comfort. Average life spans increased fifty percent in the last century. Yet modern people live in abject fear. They are afraid of strangers, of disease, of crime, of the environment. . . of the homes they live in, the food they eat, the technology that surrounds them. . .germs, chemicals, additives, pollutants. . . . They are convinced that the environment of the entire planet is being destroyed around them.

. . . How has that been accomplished?

. . . for the last fifteen years we have been under the control of . . . (a) complex, . . . powerful and . . . pervasive,. . . . the politico-legal-media complex. . . . it is dedicated to promoting fear in the population -- under the guise of promoting safety.

. . . it unites so many institutions of society. Politicians need fears to control the population. Lawyers need dangers to litigate, and make money. The media need scare stories to capture an audience. Together, these three estates are so compelling that they can go about their business even if the scare is totally groundless."

The professor then gives examples like: breast implants causing cancer and autoimmune diseases. Despite evidence to the contrary, there were "high-profile news stories, high-profile lawsuits, high-profile political hearings." Four years later, definite studies showed beyond a doubt that breast implants did none of these things. But by then, the politico-legal-media complex had moved on to other fears and terrors, with no system of checks and balances. And millions of dollars had been spent and/or wasted.

". . . If it is not all right to falsely shout 'Fire!' in a crowded theater, why is it all right to shout 'Cancer!' in the pages of The New Yorker? When that statement is not true?"

Other examples of perpetuated fears that never materialized are: killer bees, power-line cancer, global warming, and rising sea levels. And in his Appendix I, Crichton reminds us of a theory widely held a century ago, globally, by scientists, politicians, philanthropists, research institutes, and more. This theory was called eugenics. It claimed that the human race was deteriorating because the "best human beings were not breeding as rapidly as the inferior ones--the foreigners, immigrants, Jews, degenerates, the unfit and the 'feeble minded.'" Fear spurred the deaths of millions of innocent people. Of course, after World War II, nobody was a eugenicist, and nobody had ever been a eugenicist - details conveniently left out of biographies and college courses.

State of Fear focuses primarily on environmentalism - global warming, rising sea levels, the need to manage nature. But through it, Crichton raises some interesting questions.

What do you think? Could this politico-legal-media machine truly be controlling how we think, make laws, spend taxes, vote, and face our daily lives?

I'm afraid it makes a lot of sense.